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You have bewitched me... [16 Aug 2006|12:05am]
[ mood | elated ]

So, school is kinda blah, but I think this year will be good. Why? Because I'm not holding back. It's senior year, it's our time to live it up, it's our time to be stupid so we can look back on it and just be like, "those were the days." I can't wait for tomorrow.

4 commentadmitted to the truth

[14 Aug 2006|09:15pm]
[ mood | hot ]

Today was the first day of school. YAY! It was pretty good. My homeroom teacher sucks so bad though. She's so ghetto. It's obnoxious. Oh well, I only have to have her once a week for like 10 minutes. AP econ is fun. Good kids, the teacher seems cool enough. Physics is pretty cool except for the fact that I'm a senior in a junior class. Oh well, Lauren Cannedy will keep me sane in science again this year heh. Band is very different. I'll leave it at that. I just hope people are willing to step up to the challenges in front of them. Then Lit is pretty cool. Wierd mix of kids and I dont actually have Ms. Case. But it should be good if I can ever read my stupid books. Tomorrow is Econ, Jazz, and Stat. We'll see how those go. After school I got home and took a nap, but I woke up to find that our air conditioning had broken while I was asleep. Yeah, so it's as hot as two rabbits fighting in a wool sock in the summer in here. Yeah, that's hot. We almost wound up staying at a hotel tonight, but I didn't feel like it. Also, I decided not to audition for AYWS. I just don't have time to prepare and since I don't want to pursue a career in music anymore, it won't help me all that much. I need to focus my time other places. I just, I am getting this feeling I don't like really, or atleast I think I shouldn't like. I'm moving on with my life. Music isn't my focus anymore. I'm just not feeling the passion for it I used to. I want to, but so much has happened with it and it's just like a relationship that has gone sour. I feel like I'm slowly quitting, which is hard because I've put so much time and hard work into it, but it's just getting me nowhere. I wish I could just find my motivation again. Oh well, maybe someday. Oh yeah, and Sally stole my parking spot. That irks me!

4 commentadmitted to the truth

So this is how it's going to be [10 Aug 2006|12:33am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

Is it wierd that at this point in mylife I can really relate to the lyrics of the Smash Mouth song Allstar? Today was a really good day. I got to hang out with Sam at Kat's pool waiting for her to come home so we could surprise her. Yeah, it was just a fun natural hangout time. It's not so much the events that made me happy, it's the fact that I didnt have to worry about anything. We joked around alot and flirted. It was just an all around good time. I also got to know people better to and I just enjoyed the day thoroughly. I like the direction my life is going. Band may change that tomorrow, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

2 commentadmitted to the truth

I know I've been a friend of sorrow, but won't you carry me tonight? [06 Aug 2006|09:43pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Today was nice. I went to church and didn't have to play in the band so I could just sit back and enjoy it. I really liked that. It was like the old days freshman year when Sam and I and everyone else could just sit and be there. I'm not ready to give that up for the band. I like playing on Wednesdays, but Sundays are distancing me from alot of the parts of church I want to enjoy. The fellowship of all of us growing closer through fellowship. During Sunday School I had alot of fun and realised that we are all going to grow closer this year. I like the prospects. I just hope it turns out ok. The teachers are great, the people are great even though there still is a lack of guys, and the combination seems perfect. I can't wait. Later today Sam invited me to come hang out with her and Katherine and this kid Devin from Mt. Paran who also was in MAYWE. That was cool. I hadn't hung out with Katherine like this in years and of course I always love hanging out with Sam. Devin was cool too, even if he is smarter than me. That made me kinda depressed, but not really. It kinda humbled me a bit. That's more like it. I just wonder sometimes... where is my life going? Like, I want to be something special or do something special, but I dont know what I would do. Like, I don't like to compare myself to sam, but she went on exchange, and I really havent done crap. I mean, I'm drum major, but all it's taught me so far is to try to read people's minds and calculate water breaks in my head. It's taught me problem solving kinda, but I want to experience life more. I want to do something bold or daring, meet new people. I love my friends, but I am sick of being in the same circles talking about the same things. I want more excitement. Maybe I'm just feeling kinda lame today, but you ever wonder why our ability to dream slowly fades over time? And then all we can see is the present? I'm falling into it, and I hate it. I want to dream of what I could be. I want to be able to be special. This is me venting though. Life is good. I just need to learn to do what I want rather than always trying to make everyone else happy.

2 commentadmitted to the truth

And I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would've admired... [30 Jul 2006|09:02pm]
2 years and running! Yup, Sam and I had our 2 year anniversary today. I know atleast one person is going to say that we were broken up, but really... we weren't. I can't explain it to you. I don't need to though. But I'm happy, for the first time in a long time. Like... REALLY happy. Other than that... nothing really. Just band stuff. Yup. Life is good!
1 commentadmitted to the truth

I think our lives have just begun... [27 Jul 2006|10:21pm]
So, I swear I will not make every entry about Sam, but it's been nice. I never thought starting over would be so fun, but when I stopped being so emo and just let things happen, it just makes more sense. Like... tonight was nice. It started awkward, and I got scared, but then after a bit we warmed up to eachother again and it was sweet. And we got sushi and just had a good old fashioned good time. I know this is short, but yeah whatever.
2 commentadmitted to the truth

well... [22 Jul 2006|12:24pm]
I think I may start writing in this again. Xanga seems lame. So where to start? Sam is back. Things are going pretty well, we're taking it slow. Yup, life is pretty boring for now. Just getting back in the swing of things.
3 commentadmitted to the truth

[30 Jul 2005|04:37pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I think this may be my last entry in this journal. I'm switching to Xanga because Sam's Danish blog is a Xanga. Yeah, she left this morning. So I'm kinda down now. Anyway it's the same username on xanga if you care.

3 commentadmitted to the truth

bleh [20 Jun 2005|10:03pm]
[ mood | blank ]

So yeah, tomorrow I leave for church camp in Panama City. Fun I guess. Except that there's going to be a million bazillion rules because our new youth minister has a big pole up his rectum. I'll try to make the best of it. In other news, Batman Begins is an amazing movie, more than just action and stuff blowing up. It really presented interesting psychological aspects of life. I really liked it. Yeah, I dont know Leave love I guess. my life is boringish.

2 commentadmitted to the truth

If I could turn back time... [19 Jun 2005|03:28pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Reality Sucks.

admitted to the truth

SURVEY BANDWAGON! [18 Jun 2005|11:20am]
[ mood | Dazed and Confused ]

[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies. (yeah,the old ones)
[ ] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I payed for that cell phone ring.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love spam.
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[ ] I am in love with love
[x] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[x] I most likely NEED a therapist.
[ ] I love chocolate. (not american)
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] Saw a shooting star.
[x] Been to any other countries besides the United States.
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] Gone out in public in your pajamas.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] Been close to love.
[x] Been to a casino.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[x] Broken a bone.
[x] Skipped school.
[x] Flashed someone.
[ ] Saw a therapist.
[ ] Done the splits.
[x] Played spin the bottle.
[x] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten somebody.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car.
[ ] Been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[x] Gone on a blind date.
[x] Lied to a friend.
[x] Had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker.
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[ ] Had children.
[ ] Saw someone dying.
[ ] Been to Africa.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been to Mexico.
[x] Been on a plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten Sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[ ] Been skiing.
[x] Met someone in person from the internet.
[ ] Been to a moto cross show.
[ ] Lost a child.
[x] Gone/going to college.
[ ] Graduated college.
[ ] Dropped out of high school/college.
[ ] Done hard drugs.
[ ] Taken painkillers.
[x] Had someone cheat on you.
[x] Miss someone right now.

admitted to the truth

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well... [15 Jun 2005|06:16am]
[ mood | hungry ]

So, I went with Sam and her family to her lakehouse this weekend. It didn't start off so well because my mom was really really mad when I left. That made me not so happy. HTings worked out and by the time we got to the house I was all happy again. The First day it was kinda rainy so we didn't get to do much. On the way there were some horses on the side of the road and we stopped to pet them. We went over to their friend's house for dinner. Nothing really eventful other than there was this cool little kid that liked Sam and I. Afterward we came back to the house and Sam and I stayed up late watching T.V. It may not seem like much but it was one of the most romantic moments of the trip because it was just us. Her parents were asleep and her brothers were leaving us alone and we could cuddle and talk. The next day was very very sunny. I got sooooooooooox24 sunburned. It started off eating pancakes with Sam. Then We had to run some errands for her mom before we could go tubing on their boat. My shoe got eaten by the mub beside her house. It was ridiculous. It was like mud up to my knee. Anyway, tubing was fun but I'm still sore from it. We tied 2 tubes to the back of her dad's boat and Sam's kept getting on my side of the wake. It was fun kicking her back across whenever it did that. Then that night we set up a fire pit and roasted marshmallows. We got to look at the stars which there are a bunch of there. I liked it there. It was so relaxing. Then on the last day we went into town and just looked around at stuff. Every place in the tiny town seemed to be a florist, an antique shop, or a lawyer. We met a lady with a collection of like 300something cake pans. Other than that it wasn't too interesting, but hanging out with Sam was fun. Afterward we came home and watched Small Soldiers at Sam's house. It wasn't that great, but I didn't care because I got to spend some quality time with Sam. I can't wait til we go to the beach together in july, that'll be fun. So yeah, yesterday, I went shopping for a comforter for my bed but I think it is impossible to find one that ins't either a solid color, or overly feminine. After shopping unsuccessfully I went to Harrison's house for his birthday party with Jamie. It was cool to ride up there with Jamie because I haven't gotten to talk to him really since the MAYWE trip. It was pretty cool. We watched Team America AGAIN but it was still funny. We went to his pool too but I didn't get in because I forgot my swimsuit. I'm kinda glad because there was a guy in there that we think was skinny dipping but we never figured out if he really was. So plans for today are, go again to try to find a comforter, band practice at church at 3. Plans for tomorrow, THE ZOO WITH SAM! Yup, leave me love.

4 commentadmitted to the truth

Question... [10 Jun 2005|03:54pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Is it better to follow your heart or your mind? Explain your reasoning.

14 commentadmitted to the truth

[10 Jun 2005|09:20am]
[ mood | crappy ]

Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles!

Relient K

Are you male or female?
I'm Lion-O

Describe yourself.
The Only Thing Worse Than Beating A Dead Horse Is Betting On One

How do some people feel about you?
Over Thinking

How do you feel about yourself?
Falling Out

Describe your significant other/interest.
The One I'm Waiting For

Where are you?
Wake Up Call

Where would you rather be?
Balloon Ride

Describe what you want to be.
More Than Useless

Describe how you live.
Maintain Consciousness

Describe a close friend.
In Love With The 80's

Describe how you love.
Be My Escape

Describe something you regret.
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

How do you spend your time?
Getting Into You

Who do you dislike?
College Kids

You Future Plans?
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

How would you kill someone?
May The Horse Be With You

Share a few words of wisdom.
Less Is More

Any last words?
Marilyn Manson Ate My Girlfriend

1 commentadmitted to the truth

[04 Jun 2005|01:37am]
[ mood | productive ]


It's so sentimental I can't help myself... Yeah, no one but Sam will get it.

6 commentadmitted to the truth

I'm just a man, in a silly red sheet... [04 Jun 2005|12:19am]
[ mood | bored ]

A couple of requests. My lj desperately needs a new layout or atleast a new background image. I'mtoo lazy to do my own so if someone would atleast help me find a picture of something pertaining to love that isn't overly feminine and stuff it would be appreciated.

On another note. I have the best idea for a band. Me on acoustic guitar. Ryan on Drums/Djembe. 2 violins and a cello. Maybe a bass if necessary. Sound good? Yes I do have certain people in mind to fill those string positions. :D Sound good?

7 commentadmitted to the truth

I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive... [03 Jun 2005|12:51am]
[ mood | restless ]

Today,was pretty good. I picked up Sam around 10 and we went to the mall. She returned some bras which was kinda awkward for me and we went and returned a shirt for her little brother, Max. We were going to shop for ourselves but we didn't see anything we really wanted. We decided to go to the pet store. I want a dog. Not a big one, but like a terrier or something. Maybe Sam and I can get one someday. Yeah, then we decided to go on a traditional date and got some lunch at O'Charley's then went to see the movie Fever Pitch. Great movie. I had never heard of it before, but it'sabout the Red Sox and it has this really good love story with it. So it's the best of both worlds. Girls would like it for the love story and guys would like it for baseball. I really liked it and so did Sam. We then came back to my house and just layed on my bed and watched Friends. No! We didn't do dirty stuff you pervs. Just to clear that up. I like comparing real life to T.V. shows and movies. It makes you realise how poetic life can be and how something just can't be coincidences. For example. Sam leaves for Denmark on our one year anniversary. Out of the whole summer she leaves on that one day. I don't see that as a coincidence. God is a caring being. I think he watches out for us and the relationships we have to. Not a ruler or despot raining his wrath on the sinners. I like my view of God. Because it works, and I get response when I trust him. Anyway, on with my day. The only bad part was that Sam had to see my family fight, which is never pretty. It got better though and thankfully she was understanding. Yeah leave me love. It's been a rough day emotionally.

2 commentadmitted to the truth

[31 May 2005|10:30pm]
[ mood | In love and hopeful ]

So today was pretty good. Emotionally trying, but I had some fun and it ended well. Started off with Sam coming over and us hanging out for a bit until we picked up Ryan and Jessica to go to Steak and Shake and go bowling. That was ok, I mean, Sam and I had a few moments where things weren't so stellar, but then something kinda interesting happened. I was getting really down because Sam and I always get along and for us to not get along means something must be wrong. So one timebowling I kinda asked God, "Is everything going to be ok?" or something to that effect. Then I bowled, and I got a strike. Unfortunately it only counted as a spare, not a strike. Not sure what to make of that one. I think the fact that I actually made a strike there considering my horrid bowling skills means something good. Yeah, then we all came back to my house and watched What Women Want and Star Wars IV. We had pizza and that was good. After Jessica and Ryan left Sam and I had a heart to heart and though tears were shed, I think it ended well. Yes. I love her. You know what else? Just because she's going to Denmark doesn't mean I won't stop loving her. I just need to be optimistic. On a side note, I rediscovered the awesomeness of MxPx. Yeah Leave me love. I could use it.

1 commentadmitted to the truth

The experience of a lifetime... [29 May 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Wow, this week was so eventful. For those of you who don't know, this past week I had the privelege of going to New York to play at Carnegie Hall. For the musically unknowlegable, that's a really big deal! We left Wednesday but our plane was delayed several hours. So Jennifer, Harrison, Jamie, and I played Uno for like 2 hours. In those 2 hours we only finished like one and a half games though. After that we finally boarded the plane and left. I hate flying, I really do. Thankfully, it was a short flight. We arrived sometime around 1:30 in the morning and didn't get in til about 2:30. Of course we still had to be up and awake at 7:00 the next morning for rehersal. It was o.k. though. The subway/Train station (Grand Central I believe) was right under the hotel (the Grand Hyatt) so we had plenty of places to get good breakfast. We had to walk several blocks to this Jewish place for rehersal in the mornings, but it was ok. WE went to Chinatown and Little Italy later that day. Chinatown wasn't anything too great. There was one decent store i got some stuff at but the rest was just junk. We didn't get to spend much time in Little Italy but I liked it better. My roommates were cool. There was Andrew, Jamie, and this kid i didn't know named John. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. Jamie took Bryan's playstation 2 on the trip so wewatched movies and Family Guy at night. Male bonding time is fun... but wierd at times. The next morning was the same, and so was rehersal. In the afternoon we went to the metropolitan art museum i think that's what it was called. It was really interesting, it reminded me of all the stuff I learnedin Dr. Lynch's class. It was so big though I didn't get to alot of it. One cool thing was an entire section dedicated to musical instruments. They had like really old oboes and stuff. Ok, I'm a nerd. Bite me. Then we went to see Phantomof the Opera on Broadway. Even thoughI had the literal worst seat in the house, it was amazing! I had the seat in the top back corner of the balcony, but wow. It was like the movie, but miles better. Ok, I'll skip to the good stuff.

Carnegie Hall. WOW! I got so nervous when I first walked on stage during the dress rehersal. I got better though. The hall was so pretty, and the sound was so amazing. I've accomplished one of the things I wanted to do before I die. The dress rehersal went pretty well. Afterwards we waited back stage for about 2 hours. It was fun because it was just so relaxed. We played Uno and just goofed around with Jamie and Jennfier's cameras. The actual performance was the best I think I've ever played. It was just so much fun. I didn't worry or anything. It was just fun. It felt so good to play a solo in Carnegie Hall in front of hundreds of people. Wow, it gave me so much confidence for the rest of the performance. Festive Overture went very well. Ives went pretty well, Harrison missed an entrance which was kinda comical in the face of tension. The Mozart was ok, I dont really like my part for it but overall it went well. Fugal conerto was amazing. The soloists were great. At first I got worried because it started to snowball tempo-wise but it got under control. Pageant was just great. I knowalot of the performers didn't really care for that song but I liked it alot and we played it well.

After the concert we went on a cruise of New York harbor or whatever. It was pretty good. We got some bonding between the MAYWE kids. It was kind of odd considering we'd been playing together for 6 months but we never really got to know eachother until this week. I like making new friends. It makes things interesting. The rest of the trip was kinda uneventful but yeah, I'm back. I missed you alot Sam!

Leave me love...

9 commentadmitted to the truth

I don't care to see what's out there, you're all there is for me... [21 May 2005|10:46pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Today was kinda surreal. Sam came over early and that was fun, we went to see the new Star Wars movie. Frickin awesome. I kinda realised something odd. You know how sometimes you can relate to a character from a movie? Well I kinda related to Anakin, made me think alot. On other notes today was still awesome. Aftert he movie Sam and I hung out until Michael's graduation party. The party was awesome, I love my extended family even though they aren't the most sophisticated bunch. Sam and I got stuck baby-sitting my cousins, but that wasn't too bad. They ask if they can take my old toys home all the time though. I feel like an unwilling santa at times. Oh yeah, the reason today seemed surreal was just more of the fact that Sam and Michael are leaving. I almost cried when Sam left tonight. Yeah, I know, that sounds emo. I dont care. I deeply care about her and love her and I just wish I had more time to spend with her. Sometimes I wish I could just quit life and not worry anymore. Oh well, we can still make the best of our time.

4 commentadmitted to the truth

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